A Shame-Sensitive Approach to Therapy

                                                                                                       Photo by The New York Public Library

As a trauma-informed therapist supporting my clients, I work with the assumption that shame is likely present as well. Trauma survivors often experience feelings of shame alongside horror, anger, guilt, and fear (Dolezal & Gibson, 2022).

We can consider shame an umbrella term, encompassing a range of human experiences and emotions such as humiliation, mortification, chagrin, and embarrassment (Dolezal & Gibson, 2022). It makes sense that these powerful feelings can leave us feeling deeply flawed, worthless, and even underserving of love (Dolezal & Gibson, 2022). Shame can grow and intensify in size, resulting in a feeling loop, where one becomes ashamed, because they are ashamed (Herman, 2011, Taylor, 2015, as cited in Dolezal & Gibson, 2022). Those feelings can feel extremely uncomfortable, so individuals often avoid acknowledging, feeling, or discussing shame, despite the fact that working with shame is an integral component of healing.

There are three major concepts of a shame sensitive approach to therapy:

1) Shame is inevitable (just like trauma);

2) Shame is unpleasant, and because of this, many people avoid it (to a detriment); and

3) Service providers need to respond appropriately to clients shame to mitigate negative impacts and retraumatization (Dolezal & Gibson, 2022).

Remember, shame lives in the dark. Shed some light on it by sitting with your shame-feel its heaviness, talk about it with friends or family, journal, or work with a mental health professional.

Yours always in authenticity,

Jody

References

Dolezal, L., Gibson, M. Beyond a trauma-informed approach and towards shame-sensitive practice. Humanit Soc Sci Commun 9, 214 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1057/s41599-022-01227-z