Let’s talk about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Recently I was posed a question from a peer while working in my other capacity as a First Responder. My colleague was wondering if an individual “really had PTSD”, after hearing them self-report their diagnosis.

Confusion can surface when discussing PTSD as many individuals believe it only presents in those who have gone to war. This may result in labelling those with a PTSD diagnosis as “a liar” or a “fake”. In reality, “individual trauma results from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual being” (SAMHSA, 2014, p. 7). This is an all-encompassing definition that can include other common types of trauma, such as:

We have learned about the physical and emotional pain caused by ghosting, destiny vs growth mindset, and why people feel the need to end relationships without communication. In our fourth and final post, we are discussing healing.

Healing is hard. If you have recently been ghosted, take some time to sit with your feelings and emotions and acknowledge them. How do we do this? A great way to process our thoughts, feelings, and behavior is through expressive writing. Expressive writing is more than simply journaling, and requires the participant to dedicate 15-20 minutes a day, for 3-4 days; This technique is specifically used for understanding and dealing with emotional upheaval (Pennebaker & Smith, 2016). Another benefit of writing is that it is a low-cost, low side-effect treatment and has even been found to reduce the number of sick days a person takes (Sohal et al., 2022).

In our quest to seek closure, our minds run a mile a minute, attempting to figure out what happened, or “what we did wrong”. There are several reasons that an individual may choose to ghost someone they are dating.

We may be ghosted simply because it is easier for the other individual to go off the grid, than it is to have an uncomfortable conversation

Last week I asked our followers if they, or a loved one, had been ghosted, and alternatively, if they had ever ghosted anyone. Seventy-nine percent of those polled said they, or someone they know had been ghosted, while sixty-nine percent of those polled said they had also ghosted someone. This is in line with a recent study conducted by Navarro et al., which found that those who have been ghosted, also ghost others (2021). They also concluded that prior ghosting is related to intentions that support ghosting in the future (Navarro et al., 2021).

Also tied into ghosting, are two different relationship beliefs- destiny and growth. Those with a destiny mindset hold the idea soulmates exist-they are meant to be with a person, or they are not, focusing on attraction and “love at first sight” (Freedman et al., 2019). In these circumstances, they may also view the relationship as starting immediately, while individuals with a growth outlook believe that relationships evolve over time, and can improve with communication to overcome obstacles (Freedman et al., 2019).

The phenomenon of “ghosting” (the act of disappearing without informing someone) has become commonplace in dating. No matter the reason for ghosting, negative repercussions for the rejected party will likely follow. Let us consider the impact in this post.