Ghosting- Pt. 4- Healing
We have learned about the physical and emotional pain caused by ghosting, destiny vs growth mindset, and why people feel the need to end relationships without communication. In our fourth and final post, we are discussing healing.
Healing is hard. If you have recently been ghosted, take some time to sit with your feelings and emotions and acknowledge them. How do we do this? A great way to process our thoughts, feelings, and behavior is through Expressive Writing. Expressive Writing is more than simply journaling, and requires the participant to dedicate 15-20 minutes a day, for 3-4 days; This technique is specifically used for understanding and dealing with emotional upheaval (Pennebaker & Smith, 2016). Another benefit of writing is that it is a low-cost, low side-effect treatment and has even been found to reduce the number of sick days a person takes (Sohal et al., 2022).
Some other helpful tips, post ghosting include:
1. If you are open to taking Tylenol, studies support its use to help decrease acute emotional pain caused by ghosting (APA, 2020);
2. A mental health professional can be very useful to navigate your emotions after being ghosted;
3. Spend time with friends and family who love you (Prewitt, 2022).
Dr. Vilhauer also provides great advice- know your value (APA, 2020). Know what you bring to the table, and do so confidently. When we feel secure about ourselves, we are less likely to be as impacted by ghosting.
For those single individuals navigating the dating world, I applaud you. It is hard, and it takes a LOT of effort to continuously put yourself out there. So how can we prevent ghosting? Unfortunately, we cannot fully protect ourselves from being this behavior. While we cannot guarantee anyone else’s actions, it can be helpful to have a conversation encouraging honesty at the beginning, and commit to communicating if you are not interested yourself.
Please remember, you are not alone. It is okay not to be okay- take as much time as you need to get through this difficult time.
Thanks for coming along for the ride on our ghosting mini-series.
Yours always in authenticity,
Jody
References
American Psychological Association. (2020, February 12). What to do when you’ve been ghosted with Jennice Vilhauer, Phd. [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOQhtL0btcI&t=1s&ab_channel=AmericanPsychologicalAssociation
Pennebaker, J., & Smyth, J. (2016). Opening up by writing it down: How expressive writing improves health and eases emotional pain. Third edition. The Guilford Press
Prewitt, K. (2022, February 17). What ambiguous loss is and how to deal with it: A psychologist shares ways to cope with a lack of closure. Cleveland Clinic. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/ambiguous-loss-and-grief/
Sohal, M., Singh, P., Dhillon, B., & Gill, H. (2022). Efficacy of journaling in the management of mental illness: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Family Medicine and Community Health. 10. 10.1136/fmch-2021-001154.