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Mental Health & Counselling Blog
Trauma, Healing, and Growth
Welcome to my little corner of the internet where I share what I know (and what I keep learning) about trauma, healing, and therapy. You’ll find posts about EMDR, trauma recovery, and what it really means to move through hard stuff with compassion and curiosity. Whether you’re here in Edmonton, or connecting with me virtually from BC, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, or the North, I hope these posts give you something to think about, something that helps you feel seen, or maybe just a reminder that you’re not alone in this. If you read something here that resonates and want to go a little deeper, you can always reach out. I offer in-person counselling in Edmonton, and virtual therapy across BC (Kelowna), Manitoba (Brandon), Saskatchewan, and the North. And yes, we can start with a free consultation.
Trauma-Informed Care (TIC)
This blog post aims to help readers understand the terms “trauma-informed” or “trauma-informed care” (TIC), terms frequently used in the world of therapy. Although these terms are common, they are not regulated or protected, meaning anyone can claim to be trauma-informed. This post will assist clients in choosing a mental health professional who truly offers TIC.
An educated trauma informed therapist offers safety, evidence based treatment, empowerment, and a strengths-based approach to their clients. This approach includes a collaborative journey of resilience, healing, and the promotion of reconnection and integration. One who offers TIC assumes the client has likely experienced trauma (often under reported and recognized), which impacts how they are served (Engle, 2023).
The Stages of Trauma Recovery
1) Safety and Stabilization
This stage is about understanding and overcoming dysregulation. We will learn how symptoms present, begin to understand traumatic reminders, triggered experiences, and cognitive distortions (Janet & Herman, as cited by Fisher, n.d.).
2) Processing
In order to metabolize trauma, evidence based treatments should be utilized. The client must have the ability to stay in their window of tolerance for processing to be effective-otherwise they may become overwhelmed or attempt to avoid the pain, memories, and flashbacks (Janet & Herman, as cited by Fisher, n.d.).
Criteria for Trustworthiness
Is it safe to trust?
We may never know for certain, but there are 5 criteria created by Dr. John Gottman that may help us feel more confident in our decisions. Consider the information and evaluate your interpersonal relationships. Do those around you exhibit trustworthiness? Are YOU providing those closest to you with trust?
The Big Trust Question
Do they care about the emotional impact their behavior and actions have on you?
Is It Really P.T.S.D.?
Let’s talk about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
I have been asked if someone “really had PTSD”, Let’s unpack this.
Confusion can surface when discussing PTSD as many individuals believe it only presents in those who have gone to war. This may result in labelling those with a PTSD diagnosis as “a liar” or a “fake”. In reality, “individual trauma results from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual being” (SAMHSA, 2014, p. 7). This is an all-encompassing definition that can include other common types of trauma, such as:
Ghosting- Pt. 4- Healing
We have learned about the physical and emotional pain caused by ghosting, destiny vs growth mindset, and why people feel the need to end relationships without communication. In our fourth and final post, we are discussing healing.
Healing is hard. If you have recently been ghosted, take some time to sit with your feelings and emotions and acknowledge them. How do we do this? A great way to process our thoughts, feelings, and behavior is through expressive writing. Expressive writing is more than simply journaling, and requires the participant to dedicate 15-20 minutes a day, for 3-4 days; This technique is specifically used for understanding and dealing with emotional upheaval (Pennebaker & Smith, 2016). Another benefit of writing is that it is a low-cost, low side-effect treatment and has even been found to reduce the number of sick days a person takes (Sohal et al., 2022).
Ghosting- Pt. 3- Why?
In our quest to seek closure, our minds run a mile a minute, attempting to figure out what happened, or “what we did wrong”. There are several reasons that an individual may choose to ghost someone they are dating.
We may be ghosted simply because it is easier for the other individual to go off the grid, than it is to have an uncomfortable conversation