Blog
Welcome to my little corner of the internet where I share what I know (and what I keep learning) about trauma, healing, and therapy. You’ll find posts about EMDR, trauma recovery, and what it really means to move through hard stuff with compassion and curiosity. Whether you’re here in Edmonton, or connecting with me virtually from BC, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, or the North, I hope these posts give you something to think about, something that helps you feel seen, or maybe just a reminder that you’re not alone in this. If you read something here that resonates and want to go a little deeper, you can always reach out. I offer in-person counselling in Edmonton, and virtual therapy across BC (Kelowna), Manitoba (Brandon), Saskatchewan, and the North. And yes, we can start with a free consultation.
Ghosting- Pt. 4- Healing
We have learned about the physical and emotional pain caused by ghosting, destiny vs growth mindset, and why people feel the need to end relationships without communication. In our fourth and final post, we are discussing healing.
Healing is hard. If you have recently been ghosted, take some time to sit with your feelings and emotions and acknowledge them. How do we do this? A great way to process our thoughts, feelings, and behavior is through expressive writing. Expressive writing is more than simply journaling, and requires the participant to dedicate 15-20 minutes a day, for 3-4 days; This technique is specifically used for understanding and dealing with emotional upheaval (Pennebaker & Smith, 2016). Another benefit of writing is that it is a low-cost, low side-effect treatment and has even been found to reduce the number of sick days a person takes (Sohal et al., 2022).
Ghosting- Pt. 3- Why?
In our quest to seek closure, our minds run a mile a minute, attempting to figure out what happened, or “what we did wrong”. There are several reasons that an individual may choose to ghost someone they are dating.
We may be ghosted simply because it is easier for the other individual to go off the grid, than it is to have an uncomfortable conversation
Ghosting- Pt. 2- Growth Vs Destiny
Last week I asked our followers if they, or a loved one, had been ghosted, and alternatively, if they had ever ghosted anyone. Seventy-nine percent of those polled said they, or someone they know had been ghosted, while sixty-nine percent of those polled said they had also ghosted someone. This is in line with a recent study conducted by Navarro et al., which found that those who have been ghosted, also ghost others (2021). They also concluded that prior ghosting is related to intentions that support ghosting in the future (Navarro et al., 2021).
Also tied into ghosting, are two different relationship beliefs- destiny and growth. Those with a destiny mindset hold the idea soulmates exist-they are meant to be with a person, or they are not, focusing on attraction and “love at first sight” (Freedman et al., 2019). In these circumstances, they may also view the relationship as starting immediately, while individuals with a growth outlook believe that relationships evolve over time, and can improve with communication to overcome obstacles (Freedman et al., 2019).